August 2, 2023
4 Minutes

On the Path of Care: Am I Ready to Be a Caregiver?

Nara Moripen

When someone we hold dear gets seriously ill, there’s often no time to pause and think. Caregiving is usually something that happens, rather than a choice. And that’s okay. Maybe this is one of those moments when you shouldn’t take the time to think, after all, your loved one needs you.

What we are proposing, however, is that you take a moment to pause, reflect, think about your new caregiving role and set some boundaries around it. This will help you communicate your needs and, hopefully, get you the help and support you need from your community.

So before you lose yourself in caregiving (it happens to the best of us), take some time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Here are some questions to get you (your asking and listening self), and you (your reflecting and responding self) started.

Do I fully understand the nature and extent of my loved one’s condition? If not, how can I educate myself or who can I consult to get a comprehensive understanding?

Am I physically capable of providing the care my loved one will need? If not, how can I ensure their physical needs are met while preserving my own health?

Can I emotionally handle the strain of providing care? If I’m uncertain, what emotional support or coping mechanisms can I put in place?

Am I mentally prepared to handle the potential stress and anxiety that caregiving might bring? If I’m feeling anxious, could I benefit from seeking professional help like a therapist or counselor?

Can I handle the personal care tasks (bathing, dressing, toileting) that might be required? If not, who can take care of these tasks?

Does my home or my loved one’s home have the necessary equipment and space to provide care? If not, what modifications might be needed and how can I arrange for them?

Do I know what my boundaries and non-negotiables in caregiving are? If so, am I ready to communicate these to my loved one and other people involved in their care?

Can I devote the necessary time to caregiving? If not, how much time do I think I can I spend on caregiving?

How will caregiving affect my own health? What steps can I take to ensure I maintain my own physical and mental well-being during this time?

Am I able to provide consistent care over a potentially long period of time? If I’m uncertain, are there any respite care services or other alternatives I should consider?

Do I have the necessary skills to provide appropriate care? If not, do I learn those skills myself or get outside help?

How will caregiving affect my relationships with my spouse, children, friends, and other family members? What conversations should I have with them to better prepare them for this change?

How will caregiving affect my career and professional development? Can I talk to my employer about flexible working arrangements or other accommodations?

Am I financially able to take on this role, considering potential loss of work or extra expenses? Have I explored all the financial aid options, or should I seek advice from a financial advisor?

How will I balance caregiving with other family or parenting responsibilities? Can I delegate some responsibilities or get external support to manage my time more effectively?

Am I willing to accept help from others? If not, what are the barriers and how can I overcome them to ensure the best care for my loved one?

Am I prepared to handle potential emergencies? If not, how can I equip myself with the necessary knowledge and resources?

Am I prepared to adapt to changes in my loved one’s condition and needs? What resources or support systems can I rely on as my loved one’s needs evolve?

Am I ready to handle the potential decline or eventual death of my loved one? If not, do I need to prepare for this now, or can I find the right people to support me through this later?

Can I make the hard decisions that are often required in caregiving? If I’m worried about this, could a counselor or support group provide guidance and emotional support?

You don’t have to have all the answers now. You can come back to this list every so often, and reconsider your answers. Ultimately one question matters: Am I willing to figure it out?